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People of Aspen: Will Everyone (Else) Please Leave.

Colin Flaherty's picture

Aspen would be a pretty cool place if everybody (else) would just leave. That’s the message loud and clear that an increasing number of public and private personalities are delivering all over Pitkin county.

The latest round of “get out now” began earlier this week when some enviro from Montana told the Aspen Daily News he represented a “broad coalition of ranchers, landowners and conservationists (who have) formed to try to block gas drilling in the area, due to the role it plays for cattle grazing, wildlife migration, recreation and scenic beauty.”

It gets better. Part of this “coalition” is an Aspen group called EcoFlight, which uses airplanes to fly around at night looking for “light pollution.”
Supply your own punch line here.

Just ask any (other) enviro: (Other) people are not the solution. (Other) people are the problem. Cattle ranchers? Enviros want to protect cattle ranchers?

I didn’t write the environmental handbook. But I know what’s in it: Cattle ranchers are bad news. Really bad. Who do you think is brewing all that earth-warming methane? All the while destroying delicate western landscape when we should be eating tofu anyway?

You don’t need some crackpot in an airplane to know the answers to those questions.

And this week we learned that recreational folks are even worse. One of the suits from the Colorado Division of Wildlife told Pitkin County Commissioners that all those trails we’ve been building with public money – the same money that pays the travel expenses of wildlife bureaucrats when they want some down time in Aspen – those trails are … wait for it …. wait for it …bad, bad, bad.

People and dogs who use the trails bother the elk. And while the untrained observer might think that elk spotted near people on trails are doing just fine because they do not feel threatened, Mr. Suit knows better. They are really terrified but just too tired to run.

Elk mind reading: One of Gaia’s special gifts. Just part of the job.

The solution is easy: if everyone (else) would just leave, so would the problems. Of course if the elks really are secretly terrified of the (other) people in and around Aspen, wait ‘till they get a load of all the wolves that Mr. Suit wants to bring to town.

Talking about messing with elk migration: Wolves will do that as surely as opening an all you can eat butcher shop right on their trails.

Mr. Suit probably didn’t ask his elk brethren what they thought of that. Which goes to show, when dealing with enviros, you are either at the table. Or on the menu.