Check out our New Aspen Local Directory

The Bear Necessities

Christopher Laursen's picture

A very dear friend of mine asked me the other day "Isn't it funny how much baseball has an effect in the life of a bear" Like Michigan drug offenders, bears, have a minimum of 3 strikes before they get to walk the green mile... and not the one lined with evergreens.

I followed a bear down an ally tonight in Aspen Bear in a can and watched as he fearlessly looked for expensive sushi remnants in the garbage can behind Nobu… Who says our bears don’t have good taste! I was, while in my car, nose to nose with this beautiful 4 legged furry ball of muscle… as he stuck his head out of the top of the dumpster I said Hi… what the hell else was I gonna do? I was stunned by how small I felt next to this guy… His head was the size of about a thousand dragon rolls…

It's been a bear filled week for me... After spending some time eating a chocolate sundae and sitting in front of McDonalds by Wagner park in downtown Aspen the other day (god forbid they shut down the golden arches?) all the while watching a Aspen Police officer stand guard over a treed Paddington. I finally learned the next day that the sleepy and cornered bear was put to death.

It seems to me that its pretty doubtful that both the bears put down this week in Aspen had both used their 3rd strikes at the very same night because both bears should have been through relocation at least twice… So you’re telling me that both bears returned to Aspen at the same time and on the very same night both used up their final chance? REALLY? I’d like to see the paperwork that supports that please…

This is all new to me and the wonder of seeing a magnificent creature like this up close is still pretty fresh and I can honestly say I'm fucking pissed off. I understand that if some lady gets her chardonnay knocked over while dining on the sidewalk in front of Lu Lu’s or Social that we should all grab our pitchforks and skin the thing alive and feed on it’s insides while it’s still watching us but short of that aren’t we the ones who (and this is all in my humble opinion) should be culling our own herd?

I heard a little girl yelling to the police officer on Sunday in front of Mickey D’s “Don’t hurt the bear!!” over and over and over… It makes me very sad to think of the butcher who brought that poor Winnie to it’s knees yesterday… It's a fact that there are a lot more dog attacks than bear attacks. Bears are simply not dangerous... One more point of note... More people are killed by Elk and Deer in Montana than Bears and Bison combined

I think it's worth noting that the bear at McDonalds was not collared and therefore could not have been relocated once... let alone twice Now, I honestly don’t care what you think about our safety as humans andI the food chain etc… We need to make a concerted effort to continually transport these animals to a safer place for both of us…